need I say more?

Wow!!

It is good to be back. Writing on my little blog that is. It has been a busy busy month since i last wrote.

I hardly have time to go see my boyfriend who has been busy in his own right. Oh my god how i love to get together with him. he is so hot and so manly.

Sometimes I just get to thinking about what has happened to get me to where I am today. Generally I am as happy as I have ever been in my entire life. Oh I know I have said all of this before but when I reflect on what has happened over the last few years I smile and think what a long strange trip it has been. Today I was asking a friend if she could foresee me where I am today. Her response was a very resounding no. It surprised me somewhat. Here was the shell of a "man" who as a child dressed in his mothers clothes. Who tried to have sex with all his little friends until they finally said to stop.  I went on the have many relationships with women but could never really get comfortable with any of them for long periods of time. I fathered children but was never a father. Life went on and on and on. One day finally my friend asked if her boyfriend could give me a blow job. I am not sure what happened in my head but it snapped. I jumped at  the chance and before I knew it I was begging to suck his cock.  Thus began the long slow transition to where I am today.  Now every ounce of me wants to be more feminine more hours of the day. I want to wear panties everyday and throw all my male clothes out. I do what I can to be clean shaven over my entire body. and I love it . These are more than urges. I feel incomplete without doing these things. and I still wonder why. but I am glad that is the way I feel. 

I know I am not alone out there. Our stories are all different yet the same.  Some of us linger on slowly changing and others throw caution to the wind and just go for it. I salute the sissies who I have followed, without them I would not be here.  Some inspire and some lead us to cautionary tales. I make choices and I follow thru. I like where I am at.  

And the Rest is History

I thought i would check in with you all.  I am doing

good, the weather is changing and my hormones are
raging.  Here is the question; I grew my hair out to look
more fem but what I get is this mass of hair that looks like a man's long hair.  So obviously I need to go have this styled but how can I get this cut more fem but still look manly when I have to work or be in public as a man?  I would love to hear suggestions because I really don't know and there is no one around to ask. I looked at a wig the other day slipped it on and loved what it looked like but there is no way I could keep it attached during activities with my boy friend.  so there must be somebody out there who could give me a few tips.

Some days are funny I think I have hidden long enough and just want to be and do what I want. Then realize where I am located and know with certainty that would not be wise.  On the other hand, my vanilla wife continues to let on she doesn't know but asks the occasional question to let me know she does know.

Blow Buddy .. I Love This Post!

Kinky Adventures of Nikkij: Blow Buddy .. I Love This Post!: More on Jayne Loves Dicks The importance of reposting it is that YOU DO need a blow job buddy! Someone you can practice on.  Bu...

just something about it that i miss

Outside influences

I have had one of those weeks. Many outside things affecting everything that goes on with me. Not able to hook up with my man this week. and with a little time online i started getting invitations from young women to look at their pictures on google +. I found them to be, oh how do i say this but, wonderful and made me horny. It has been sometime when genetic girl pictures had much effect on me and it was nice to have that arousal level again but ..... It made me wonder.

 How much of a sissy faggot cocksucker am i?  This morning while cruising around checking out the blogs i follow i found this most sensual loving video of just a few seconds of a cock getting sucked. I so wanted that to be me. I want my man now. it was beautiful. all thoughts about where i belong are gone again. I know!!
   I love it!!

The Return

Oh my god, I recently returned from my usual winter excursion to places warmer than here. Often upon my return the weather has broken and spring is the season for the next six months. Not so much this year. Has been the coldest it has been here for years and now snow. I would love to go back and stay.

The best thing about about returning is getting to live this lifestyle I have chosen. My boyfriend was glad to see me as I was him. His hard cock is so lovely that I get a nice warm feeling as I write this.  If it was not snowing today I would most likely sneak away to spend the day with him. But here where snow is not that common best to not travel. 

Things are good  with me. I like where I am going, the worst is it just sometimes takes so long to get there. hehehe  Experience tells me to just take my time and let things happen as they will. But I always have to keep in mind I am not a patient person. lol  Sometimes I have to slow down and enjoy where I am at today. Hope you do too!!

Happy New Year!!

I just have this crazy feeling 2014 is going to be one crazy good year. Hopefully, for all of us everything we seek will come to pass. Bring it on. Happy New Year!!!

I have often wondered how far this would all go. It is becoming obvious to me that my growing interest in all things feminine and my craving for more cum, more cock and more time to seek these things out lead me to believe that i need to come out of the closet and declare myself to the world. on the other hand i often think that i talk to much about myself on my blog. I should tell stories or find something interesting to say or just post pictures with or without captions. alas dears, I think i will just keep on doing what i have done over the years, talking about how i feel about things in general, how i have slipped down the rabbit hole, how i have little interest in women anymore and how i love to suck my boyfriends cock. I have been told this is all a fantasy and i should keep it that way, if that is true then i am way out of my league.

and i love it. Happy New Year to all