Sunday, January 17, 2016

The Next Chapter

the next chapter

I am not sure where we left off but things have changed around here. I am no longer married to my vanilla wife. she lives somewhere over on the other side of town. the house has sold and I am looking. Looking for many things. I am transitioning.  remember the rabbit hole we are slipping into, there is no getting out. I have never been so happy with the person I am becoming. it is one of the craziest things I have ever felt and done. I love it.

I should be keeping a log or journal but often I just don't have the time to sit down anymore as I try to keep moving forward. I am so excited. I now have the paperwork completed to get hrt. I go for my final Dr.s visit to get checked out and to get my prescription. heady times for sure.

move forward a few months.  I now have been on HRT for a full 6 months and oh my things have changed. I haven't been married for a while now and it makes little difference. I now live as a woman in a small conservative community. My life and my business have continued to grow as I become the woman I need to be. Most importantly life has become livable again. It was interesting what has fallen to the wayside as I learn to live honestly and comfortably in my own skin. No more pretending to be something I am not.

In case anyone was wondering, this is what has become of me. I still enjoy a good hard cock, but it is not the driving force that it was. Who knows what the future will bring. I do know that the search continues!

Friday, January 9, 2015

'nuff said

What a start to the new year, omg.  We are ten days into it and there has been more happen in my life than I ever
thought possible.  First things first: I came out to my
vanilla wife on the fourth. I had become cornered and I know it needed to happen to I let it out of the bag, "I am bisexual or more likely gay" I told her.  While she was taken aback she was not really that surprised and had started talking about how my body was changing. We went on like this for a couple of days and then I started telling her of how my body felt changing and what it was doing to my head. I don't want to stop I told her when she suggested going to the doctor to have my hormones checked.  During the course of the conversation we decided since I was horrible with makeup that she would show me how to do it, that since I didn't have anything to wear she got out a dress she thought would fit and that it was ok for me to rid myself of any body hair I wanted. This was FREEDOM!!!!! 

2 hours later I was sitting in the living room dressed having my wife take pictures. She was telling how I glowed as a woman and that I should pursue this part of me. Since then I have had man clothes on a couple of times but not for long, only to go downtown shopping when my wife took me to get my own clothes. From the looks of it she is helping and standing beside me as I begin to transition to full time. this is unreal and the fact that she supports me is like living in a dream. This is scary crazy and the most happy/joyous crazy all at the same time. We have all talked about the rabbit hole and how slippery the slope gets and once you are headed down that hole there is not any going back. It has been a long strange trip and it continues but I have switched trains.

Happy New Year to all!!!

Wednesday, May 28, 2014


It is good to be back. Writing on my little blog that is. It has been a busy busy month since i last wrote.
I hardly have time to go see my boyfriend who has been busy in his own right. Oh my god how i love to get together with him. he is so hot and so manly.

Sometimes I just get to thinking about what has happened to get me to where I am today. Generally I am as happy as I have ever been in my entire life. Oh I know I have said all of this before but when I reflect on what has happened over the last few years I smile and think what a long strange trip it has been. Today I was asking a friend if she could foresee me where I am today. Her response was a very resounding no. It surprised me somewhat. Here was the shell of a "man" who as a child dressed in his mothers clothes. Who tried to have sex with all his little friends until they finally said to stop.  I went on the have many relationships with women but could never really get comfortable with any of them for long periods of time. I fathered children but was never a father. Life went on and on and on. One day finally my friend asked if her boyfriend could give me a blow job. I am not sure what happened in my head but it snapped. I jumped at  the chance and before I knew it I was begging to suck his cock.  Thus began the long slow transition to where I am today.  Now every ounce of me wants to be more feminine more hours of the day. I want to wear panties everyday and throw all my male clothes out. I do what I can to be clean shaven over my entire body. and I love it . These are more than urges. I feel incomplete without doing these things. and I still wonder why. but I am glad that is the way I feel. 

I know I am not alone out there. Our stories are all different yet the same.  Some of us linger on slowly changing and others throw caution to the wind and just go for it. I salute the sissies who I have followed, without them I would not be here.  Some inspire and some lead us to cautionary tales. I make choices and I follow thru. I like where I am at.  

Saturday, March 15, 2014

And the Rest is History

I thought i would check in with you all.  I am doing
good, the weather is changing and my hormones are
raging.  Here is the question; I grew my hair out to look
more fem but what I get is this mass of hair that looks like a man's long hair.  So obviously I need to go have this styled but how can I get this cut more fem but still look manly when I have to work or be in public as a man?  I would love to hear suggestions because I really don't know and there is no one around to ask. I looked at a wig the other day slipped it on and loved what it looked like but there is no way I could keep it attached during activities with my boy friend.  so there must be somebody out there who could give me a few tips.

Some days are funny I think I have hidden long enough and just want to be and do what I want. Then realize where I am located and know with certainty that would not be wise.  On the other hand, my vanilla wife continues to let on she doesn't know but asks the occasional question to let me know she does know.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Blow Buddy .. I Love This Post!

Kinky Adventures of Nikkij: Blow Buddy .. I Love This Post!: More on Jayne Loves Dicks The importance of reposting it is that YOU DO need a blow job buddy! Someone you can practice on.  Bu...