Finally

Yesterday i started the day with a note to my master with a subject line of "finally". We were going to meet face to face for the first time after a couple of months of just emails and chatting. he has been sculpting me to be a good little sissy slut.

I skipped work and headed to our prescribed meeting place. a little store in the middle of nowhere this was just a public meeting so we could meet, find out a little about each other and see, i guess, if this is what we really wanted to do.  i was directed to wear panties and i did. i even wore my nipple rings he had directed to get and wear when we were together.  we had no plan other than to meet and talk. things were alluded to but this was about getting comfortable with each other. 

i got to the place a little early and went inside to get coffee. when i returned he was there. we introduced ourselves and he went to get coffee. we sat in his car for a while and talked of many things of little consequence and finally we noticed how crowded the parking lot had become. i suggested we go to a park i had passed a couple miles down the road. we arrived at the park and both of us used the restroom. we stood outside on a cold windy day. he asked what i wanted to do.

If i could get one thing out of this meeting i had wanted to touch another mans cock. i have been doing this sissy thing a fairly long time and honestly i have never been with a real man.

so my reply to his question was " i want to touch your cock." we retreated back to the cold concrete seclusion of the restroom and slipped inside. where my master unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants in front of me. there before me was this magnificent cock. it was now i had to decide if i could actually do this. in a split second that decision was made as i put my hand on his shoulder as the other found his cock to fondle. instantly it responded to my touch and almost as quickly i responded to its response. i dropped to my knees to get a better look at this cock in my hand. no sooner had i dropped down than i muttered something about i can't believe i am doing this and touched that cock to my lips and bingo it was in my mouth. omg what a feeling!!! There was the immediate realization i had wasted my life. this is what i was born to do. Be on my knees in front of a real man with his cock in my mouth. there was no hesitancy there was no wondering about anything i realized i wanted his cum and i was going to get it. i am not sure what he thought as he was about to cum he asked if i was ready. my response was to bury my face in his pubic hair and wonder what is taking so long. it was magnificent i loved the feel and the taste as he exploded in my mouth and down my throat. nothing escaped this cocksuckers lips. i wanted that cum so badly i continued to suck him long after any vestige of cum remained. i loved it and i did not want to stop. 

in a cold restroom along a minor highway was not what i had in mind for my first blowjob. i would meet my master there any day of the week to repeat this event and if you are ever passing my way i  .............

Living the dream

It has been so long since i posted that i must apologize.  it is not because i have gone away, quit being a sissy.  sometimes i think about not being a sissy but it doesn't change anything. i have acceptance now that i am a sissy, that i have just passing interest in women and strive to please my master. did you read that right? yes you did, i have a master now, lives a short distance down the highway and is strong in his devotion to turn me into the most feminized creature i can be. i love it. this is where i belong. in fact he is the one who has requested that i start this blog again. i have missed this blog as it was a good outlet for the voices in my head which clamor for the real me to step forward. I am far from a finished product as i still live in the world of small town and i have to eat. I have grown my hair longer and at times i play with it trying to make it look all feminine. now i am seeking a style that is a little more feminine without it being to obvious. time will tell on this.

i vaguely recall listening to a hypnosis session yesterday the background voices telling me how my actions are more feminine, how i walk talk and act like a sissy more and more.
Samantha is so wonderful. She has helped me along with her hypnosis sessions. i never realized that she was planting subconscious thoughts about feminizing all the time. (www.hypnoerotica.biz).  duhhh. i love it. i just want more and more.

so with that i am going forth into the world today. i will be back. 

Some one left me a message the other day about why i don't write anymore. Not sure why. Tired of slinking around hiding the fact i am a cum loving sissy faggot.  My need for cock seems unsatiable. I hide all of this behind a facade of lies intent on keeping me comfortable in the world i live in. Truth is i get more uncomfortable as time passes.  Pictures of cocks whether big and black real man cocks or little clitties in panties make me hard and my mouth starts to water in anticipation.

So I hide in my real world trying to stay manly enough that no one knows who i really am.  I long for the feel of satin on my skin without the interference of god awful hair.  i sometimes delve into the erotic literature that i like to read but haven't been to successful with writing,

There I was sitting at my home office compter, scanning the sissy blogs, dressed in black panties, 3 inch heels with a black bra, my little sissy clitty was protruding the top of my bikini panties when suddenly I heard a knock on the door. Always the shy one I quickly decided not to answer it and continued looking at the "Submit to Black" blogspot. Again the knock, a little more adamant and again i decided to ignore it. Even stronger and more adamant it repeated. Being the submissive that i am, I slipped into a bathrobe and went to the front door to stop the incessant knocking.
Standing at my door was one of the neighbors whom i had seen but never met. He introduced himself as Jim and stated that his wife was waiting for me to come have coffee at their house. 
"Why thank you Jim but I am a little tied up with work right now could we make it another time?"
Jim's reply rattled me to the core, "Reg, We know. Come to the house now."
As calmly as possible I asked, "You know what?" All Jim said was, "about you."
"Well let me get dressed I am not running around the neighborhood dressed like this."
"Come as you are, Now!"

This is as far as i ever get. Always the bridesmaid never the bride so to speak.  It is hard living here in small town america where not everything is allowed. We still have to eat it seems.  I continue to exist in the double life. but I am trying albeit none to successfully to be a man when in reality i am no more than a cum craved little sissy faggot. I can watch all the hypno video, look at all the blogs and chat online but the fact remains i am stuck here.