Sissy Me

Some one left me a message the other day about why i don't write anymore. Not sure why. Tired of slinking around hiding the fact i am a cum loving sissy faggot.  My need for cock seems unsatiable. I hide all of this behind a facade of lies intent on keeping me comfortable in the world i live in. Truth is i get more uncomfortable as time passes.  Pictures of cocks whether big and black real man cocks or little clitties in panties make me hard and my mouth starts to water in anticipation.

So I hide in my real world trying to stay manly enough that no one knows who i really am.  I long for the feel of satin on my skin without the interference of god awful hair.  i sometimes delve into the erotic literature that i like to read but haven't been to successful with writing,

There I was sitting at my home office compter, scanning the sissy blogs, dressed in black panties, 3 inch heels with a black bra, my little sissy clitty was protruding the top of my bikini panties when suddenly I heard a knock on the door. Always the shy one I quickly decided not to answer it and continued looking at the "Submit to Black" blogspot. Again the knock, a little more adamant and again i decided to ignore it. Even stronger and more adamant it repeated. Being the submissive that i am, I slipped into a bathrobe and went to the front door to stop the incessant knocking.
Standing at my door was one of the neighbors whom i had seen but never met. He introduced himself as Jim and stated that his wife was waiting for me to come have coffee at their house. 
"Why thank you Jim but I am a little tied up with work right now could we make it another time?"
Jim's reply rattled me to the core, "Reg, We know. Come to the house now."
As calmly as possible I asked, "You know what?" All Jim said was, "about you."
"Well let me get dressed I am not running around the neighborhood dressed like this."
"Come as you are, Now!"

This is as far as i ever get. Always the bridesmaid never the bride so to speak.  It is hard living here in small town america where not everything is allowed. We still have to eat it seems.  I continue to exist in the double life. but I am trying albeit none to successfully to be a man when in reality i am no more than a cum craved little sissy faggot. I can watch all the hypno video, look at all the blogs and chat online but the fact remains i am stuck here.