To Each of You,

 

I often wonder what you all would like to see here. It sometimes seems like I am in a rut and saying the same thing over and over.  Hugs

Ready

I am so ready to move on in this transformation and at some 
point soon it is going to happen.  What that entails i am not

 

really sure. I do know that i would like to be able to be more free. to live outside the constraints that i currently live with. I will leave my job on the first of the year and continue to work at home in another capacity. I have been blogging here for over 2 years and things have changed quite a bit. you have all put up with my little mad ramblings from time to time and i am sure you must all think, "get on with it."  I am gaining confidence in who i am and what i want, so time marches on. it is impossible to deny that i am a sissy faggot cocksucker who loves to eat cum and has little interest in women other than the clothes they wear.








I often wonder what the future holds and how far i will go on this path. what i do know is i do not want it to end.

please comment or write a pm. i am always looking for others to write or chat with. hugs

Faster and Faster

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dreaming again.

This is what i live for.  i keep looking but options are slow to develop amongst other things.  It seems I had a little reprieve from femdom by my own making. I could never figure it out just didn't have the urges. I am happy to say all is restored this morning and the last couple of weeks the urges have grown stronger again and now at last i can truly say I am back. hugs to you all

next

time goes on. I was out of the country for awhile and while out of the country i was wandering around trying to be a man. I don't think it really works very well for me any more. Since my last post i have grown to crave the position you see here. on my knees in front of a mans cock. 


I had another meeting last week. It turned out to be absolutely sublime. We met at the quick stop as we had agreed to. The hustle and bustle of that place always gives me reason to go someplace else so we headed down to the park a couple miles down the road. My friend got into my car and we chatted for several minutes. It wasn't long before my friend decided i would like to see his panties. That being the case i decided i wanted  to see his clitty. We are still sitting in the parking lot and bingo, here we go again. I reached over to touch it. I wanted everything to go slowly, so i could really get to understand about the anatomy of a man, especially this uncut clitty which was completely new to me. I touched it and i am always surprised at how i like the feel of another mans cock. Within seconds I reached down and tasted this delight.  Again i am dumbstruck with the ecstasy i feel when i have a man's hard cock in my mouth.




When i was finished i sat back up in the middle of a parking lot in the middle of nowhere and smiled. I had what i wanted, his load of cum. I knew at that moment that there was no going back to be the man i was trying to be a week before. that i am little more than a sissy faggot who lives to eat cum and with that  i am good.

Finally

Yesterday i started the day with a note to my master with a subject line of "finally". We were going to meet face to face for the first time after a couple of months of just emails and chatting. he has been sculpting me to be a good little sissy slut.

I skipped work and headed to our prescribed meeting place. a little store in the middle of nowhere this was just a public meeting so we could meet, find out a little about each other and see, i guess, if this is what we really wanted to do.  i was directed to wear panties and i did. i even wore my nipple rings he had directed to get and wear when we were together.  we had no plan other than to meet and talk. things were alluded to but this was about getting comfortable with each other. 

i got to the place a little early and went inside to get coffee. when i returned he was there. we introduced ourselves and he went to get coffee. we sat in his car for a while and talked of many things of little consequence and finally we noticed how crowded the parking lot had become. i suggested we go to a park i had passed a couple miles down the road. we arrived at the park and both of us used the restroom. we stood outside on a cold windy day. he asked what i wanted to do.

If i could get one thing out of this meeting i had wanted to touch another mans cock. i have been doing this sissy thing a fairly long time and honestly i have never been with a real man.

so my reply to his question was " i want to touch your cock." we retreated back to the cold concrete seclusion of the restroom and slipped inside. where my master unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants in front of me. there before me was this magnificent cock. it was now i had to decide if i could actually do this. in a split second that decision was made as i put my hand on his shoulder as the other found his cock to fondle. instantly it responded to my touch and almost as quickly i responded to its response. i dropped to my knees to get a better look at this cock in my hand. no sooner had i dropped down than i muttered something about i can't believe i am doing this and touched that cock to my lips and bingo it was in my mouth. omg what a feeling!!! There was the immediate realization i had wasted my life. this is what i was born to do. Be on my knees in front of a real man with his cock in my mouth. there was no hesitancy there was no wondering about anything i realized i wanted his cum and i was going to get it. i am not sure what he thought as he was about to cum he asked if i was ready. my response was to bury my face in his pubic hair and wonder what is taking so long. it was magnificent i loved the feel and the taste as he exploded in my mouth and down my throat. nothing escaped this cocksuckers lips. i wanted that cum so badly i continued to suck him long after any vestige of cum remained. i loved it and i did not want to stop. 

in a cold restroom along a minor highway was not what i had in mind for my first blowjob. i would meet my master there any day of the week to repeat this event and if you are ever passing my way i  .............

Living the dream

It has been so long since i posted that i must apologize.  it is not because i have gone away, quit being a sissy.  sometimes i think about not being a sissy but it doesn't change anything. i have acceptance now that i am a sissy, that i have just passing interest in women and strive to please my master. did you read that right? yes you did, i have a master now, lives a short distance down the highway and is strong in his devotion to turn me into the most feminized creature i can be. i love it. this is where i belong. in fact he is the one who has requested that i start this blog again. i have missed this blog as it was a good outlet for the voices in my head which clamor for the real me to step forward. I am far from a finished product as i still live in the world of small town and i have to eat. I have grown my hair longer and at times i play with it trying to make it look all feminine. now i am seeking a style that is a little more feminine without it being to obvious. time will tell on this.

i vaguely recall listening to a hypnosis session yesterday the background voices telling me how my actions are more feminine, how i walk talk and act like a sissy more and more.
Samantha is so wonderful. She has helped me along with her hypnosis sessions. i never realized that she was planting subconscious thoughts about feminizing all the time. (www.hypnoerotica.biz).  duhhh. i love it. i just want more and more.

so with that i am going forth into the world today. i will be back.